Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Superhero Summer

Summer 2011 was the summer of the superhero in film: "Thor,” “X-Men: First Class,” "Green Lantern” and "Captain America: The First Avenger."
Imagine if these superheroes really existed.
Would you feel safer knowing there's a hammer-wielding Norse god down the block?  Perhaps. Though, at what cost?
I personally think they'd be a drain on the economy.  The amount of destruction caused to catch criminals would cost hundreds of thousands, if not millions to repair. To compensate the amount of money spent, tax increases affecting the corporations that sponsor superheroes might be incurred. Then, how would the corporations expense their intergalactic recruiting trips?
I know superheroes are trying to save the Earth and all, though, clearly, certain guidelines must exist from small to large scale.  If Thor returns to Earth, he can't go around to diners smashing mugs and dishes.  Things are hard enough for small business owners.  I know he only did it once, before he became humble.  But, sometimes old habits are hard to break.  And the amount of money the state of New Mexico would have to shell out for Thor's hammer-habit would be cosmic.  Then there’s the question of his status.  If Thor comes back to live with Jane Foster, would he be considered an illegal immigrant unless they marry? Would he qualify for non-resident alien status?
The X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants have way too much drama going on between each other for the X-Men to have a clear focus on saving the world. The affairs, vendettas and personal issues -- remember Wolverine’s back story?  Also, I think the X-Men are a little vain with their superpowers.  They might turn all “Hollywood” on us, and go on tour with Lady Gaga or something.
And, what about preserving the environment?  The Green Lantern isn’t “green.” In order to defeat criminals he expels fists of green energy into the atmosphere.  That could lead to further damage to the ozone layer.  We’re already dealing with global warming.
What also concerns me are the personal issues some superheroes have.  Captain American was "asleep" for 70 years.  Is he emotionally stable?  I think he might need some therapy sessions to find himself again.  He also doesn't have a clue about globalization, the Internet or smartphones.  Such knowledge is helpful in international crime-fighting.

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